Well things have started to sink back into rhythm (well, as
much as they do in the Dominican Republic-can lack of rhythm become part of a
rhythm?). I am now officially teaching
two classes and feeling scatterbrained and harried as ever. I had invested in a
little notebook a while ago to make notes to myself to remember throughout the
day, and that has helped immensely, but even with that, I often forget to put
the notes in the notebook!
I’m trying very hard to not confuse my self-worth with how
well I teach or how much of my to-do list I cross off on a given day. It’s a
tough thing to unlearn, and a very American thing to do, but it is most
definitely worth it to work after. I don’t
think it’s bad to have goals or lists, but I don’t want to be governed by them
any longer, for they are not my Master. I’ve been thinking a lot this week how
getting caught up in those things and my pride interferes with a lot of things
that are important to me-relationships with my students, relationships with
other people, having a thankful heart before the Lord and others, using my time
wisely, and fully taking advantage of my time here, to name a few. As I have been reading through 1 Kings and reading about the life of Solomon, I have been praying for wisdom in this area and wisdom in general, because it's certainly not something I can fix on my own.
Matt has been such a blessing as I work in this. He always
reminds me that I’m worth more than my lists. He keeps me in check when I’m
starting to define myself by the standards of the world-and he lets me get it
out and process through it when I need to do that. And to make sure I am still
taking joy in the other things in life we make it a point to set aside time to
do things like runs (and walks :) ) through the mountains and by the rivers and
going to restaurants we enjoy and spending time with the families we are living
with. Time spent doing those things have become a precious reminder and time of
refreshment to me as well, along with jealously guarding the time that I spend
in the Word each day. It’s not always easy to make time for those things when I’m
so tired out from everything else, but they always bring more joy and
nourishment to my soul.
I also have a really great community here at Doulos of
people who are always checking in with each other because they really want to
know how things are going. And we are always reminding each other that it’s
about more than what we accomplish or perform. It has been so great to be part
of a community that does that for one another-that keeps each other focused on
what we’re here for and Who we are serving.
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but
only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who
competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that
will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I
do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the
air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to
others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”
-I
Corinthians 9:24-27
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