This week has had a ton of ups and downs for both Matt and I. Through a long string of miscommunications between resources at the school and ourselves and his host family, we found ourselves in a real-life nightmare game of telephone and a grand resulting conflict. After both the host family and consequently Matt and I carefully tried to resolve it by talking with a third party so as to not step on toes, Matt and I still felt frustrated and as though our situation was not well-understood and as though it hadn't accomplished much. So we finally decided to just meet with the family itself to talk it out. Thankfully, this was the best decision that was made. Very shortly into our conversation with them, both parties realized that the other party had never intended all of the negative or simply inaccurate things that had been conveyed to them. I began by explaining our situation in Spanish (the father speaks English and the mother understands a lot of English but we wanted to try and convey our thoughts in their first language) and when I was overcome with too much emotion to continue, Matt picked up where I left off and we eventually got everything sorted out, even the little things that had much less significance than we thought and we realized that both parties cared very deeply about the other and it is all far behind us now.
But we (and even the host family) did learn many things throughout this whole ordeal which turned out to be quite a blessing to us. One of those lessons is to always go directly to the person involved before going to a third party. As well meaning as that third party is, it just adds opportunity for inaccurate information, hurt feelings, and unresolved conflict. I'm pretty sure there's a letter in the Bible that urges Christians to follow that hierarchy of addressing problems and I have found the Bible to have very wise and useful advice so who am I to argue? Secondly, Matt and I also learned a lot about ourselves and our relationship. It was so cool for me to see how we handled a situation like this. Even though we realized eventually that no one was challenging us in our relationship, it felt very much throughout much of it that various people were challenging it. And we were truthfully able to defend it. We didn't have to hide anything. We didn't have to lie. We didn't have to worry that our relationship wasn't worth this or that our imaginary opposition was correct. We didn't need to turn on each other or accuse one another. We could face this perceived opposition together and stay on the same side, and that was such a good feeling and such a blessing to us. In the same vein, we also learned that we could trust one another to communicate for one another in difficult situations such as this. I was speaking in Spanish, which Matt can understand a little but he couldn't understand everything I was saying, and yet he was able to trust me to accurately and lovingly present our side. And when I could no longer be the advocate because I had gotten too emotional to continue speaking coherently, I could put my faith in him to take over and communicate the rest in an accurate and loving way. And so, at the end of this tough battle that Satan had placed in our paths, we were able to give thanks and celebrate the fact that we were able to learn all of these things about ourselves, and to know that we were capable of handling great conflict in such a way. We don't always handle our personal conflicts in the most loving way, because we're not perfect. But we were able to handle this conflict with another party this week and were able to celebrate that at the end.
For Wednesday through Friday we both got to go camping in the mountains with the high schoolers that I teach. We all went to Spirit Mountain in Manabao, which is where the founders of Doulos own a big piece of land on which they also have a coffee plantation. I rode with the high schoolers and a few other teachers to the entrance of the property and then we all had to hike up. It was only a few kilometers but that was a lot for some of the students. Matt rode up with Darrell, a guy who works at Spirit Mountain, and they took the backpacks and gear up. Matt came to help out Darrell and the owner of the property with various things that chaperons needed help with to make the experience be what it was. I hiked at the back with the students who were struggling and it was a pretty awesome experience to be there to encourage them and see them find strength they didn't think they had and to also just take time going up to see and experience the cool wildlife on the mountain. I got to eat the sweet part of a coffee bean and see a flock of parrots flying closely overhead! We finally made it to the top and hung out and ate lunch for a little while and then did another hike to a really cool waterfall. I climbed on this huge rock that was part of it and slid down it with the force of the waterfall with some of my students and just got to explore for a little bit. I walked back in the pouring rain with some of the struggling students again and I don't think I warmed up from that until the next day! It was very cold up there (and I loved it-it almost felt like I was experiencing fall ;) ). We ate dinner and had a campfire at night. Matt spent that day setting up tents for the girls to sleep in and helping out with dinner and other general set-up things. Matt slept in his hammock under the guys cabin and I and the other women all slept in hammocks in and by the girls cabin. As cool of an idea as this seems, hammocks are most definitely not the most comfortable apparatus to sleep in!
The next morning after breakfast we headed out for repelling. This was the main reason Matt had come-we had very few people with us who knew much about it and he has had a lot of experience with it so he hiked out early with the owner to set it up and we met them out there later. It was crazy-the hike itself was very difficult for many students and then they had to repel down a giant rock cliff with only ropes holding them from falling. Amazingly, every single one of them did it, even though about 10 of them refused for a long time. Thankfully I did not have to do it because we just had enough time for the students to do it and I had to hike back to help set up the scavenger hunt that we had the students do after lunch. For those of you who don't know, I have once had a mini panic attack on a 6-foot ladder before; anything with ropes and climbing causes severe hyperventilation, crying, shaky legs that refuse to move and take much coaxing and disability to move for a little while at the end. For the sake of my students, I would have done that. But I am very glad I didn't have to :). We did the scavenger hunt in the afternoon and then had small group time. I was with the 10th grade girls and overall it went really well! Those girls are less willing to talk, but when they did this time, they were very genuine, which rarely happens so it was cool to see. After that we had dinner and then the guys made a fire. Matt spent the afternoon and well into the evening with a machete in hand clearing out the trails with Darrell. The trails varied from deep jungle vines and rare palm trees to spiders the size of your hand and fallen trees. He came back with many blisters, cuts and various bug bites and yet as happy as could be :). The fire this last night was incredible. Many students shared ways in which they have sought out and encountered God and it was so touching to see the ways in which they have experienced the love of Christ. Coming from students who, for some, were problem students the year before, who didn't care and didn't want to take ownership of their lives. It was a wonderful experience for all of them.
The next morning we got up early to eat breakfast and pack up and hike back-it was our last morning. Everything went pretty well in the morning and we hiked back down surprisingly fast-even those that were struggling and had to go slower. We got back way before Darrell and Matt did with our bags and the other people who stayed behind to pack up tents and food and clean everything up. All in all, it was a really great experience and we both were so glad that we got to go and do the things that we got to do. We also learned a lot about ourselves through this experience and what we are capable of and the ways in which we seek God in our own lives. This week was such a blessing and we move forward from here with a deeper perspective of why we're here.
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