Así van las cosas

Sometimes in this country, things don't always go as planned. Sometimes the lights go out before I've saved my work and since my charger has stopped working for my computer it shuts off in a split second. Sometimes the power goes out for hours when I have a ton of work to do on my computer. This happened yesterday since it was pouring. I got a little extra time to spend with Jesus and a nap in the pouring rain. It wasn’t so bad I suppose :) An advertisement that I have seen at gas stations here is, I’m not kidding, “Siempre hay gas”-we always have gas. Why, you may ask? Because sometimes gas stations just run out of gas. Sometimes you’re running really low and have just enough to make it to the gas station-just to find out that they’ve run out for today. And then you have to rely on a friend to bring some to you.  

I have been finding this to be very true in the classroom as well. One morning Brad and I got to school at 6:45 as per usual to get ready for our 7am class which is AP Calc, Pre-Calculus, and Foundations of Math all in the same class. The printer wasn't working and we had quizzes to print out for some of our Foundations students. The mini computers for the rest of our Foundations students were not left in the library like they were supposed to and were locked up until the rest of the staff arrived at 7:45 when our class was almost done. Most days there are issues with some of the videos they are supposed to be using on Khan academy (probably due to the connection). We have to improvise and make do with what we have. Almost every day feels a bit like a juggling act that we somehow perform daily. And you know what? It works. The students learn things-things that they are supposed to on a given day-and they are all receiving the individualized instruction that they need. 

Sometimes you have a really fun lesson planned one day and you get there and you know what? Your students just aren’t in the mood today. They just want to be lectured at and don’t want to have fun. Sometimes what you thought you planned out really well, you didn’t.

And so goes life. We like to think we have control over things. We like to think that we can get anywhere we want when we want, that we can have access to whatever we want when we want, that we have control over the simple everyday tasks. Then our car breaks down or thunderstorms during our tubing adventure or our flight is delayed and we miss the only connecting one going out that day and we’re suddenly reminded that we don’t have quite as much control as we think we did. These circumstances are unfortunate and annoying and at times costly, but they can create some of the best memories. They put us in our place and remind us of our dependence on God. And this unpredictability of life has been teaching me so much, beginning with my lost passport before I came and continuing on throughout a lot of my experiences here.

It’s a little bit contradictory to the other important things I’ve been learning-such as how to plan ahead for lessons (a very difficult feat for someone like me) and how to maintain sanity and organization in a chaotic world (a book that I have been reading through to help myself grow in this area) and I don’t want to discount the importance that learning how to plan and organize holds on my time here, I just am constantly reminded throughout my efforts that it’s ultimately left up to God’s will and that I need to leave more room for His speaking into my life.  

Que sueñes con los angelitos...

On top of our math classes Brad and I are also teaching another class on MWF with the 10^th graders. On Mondays we have what’s called Crew and Wednesdays/Fridays we have a Devotions class.  The idea behind Crew is that we are all members of the Crew-we are not passengers. We work as a team, we are active participants in our work and in our lives, and we don’t just sit back and let things slide by.

Today, our theme for Crew was dreams. Last week we asked them to think about what they would do with their lives if neither money nor other people’s expectations were a factor. This week they all went around and shared their dreams. It was a beautiful thing. How often do we let kids dream? How often do we ask them to do that? How often do we ourselves dream? Often times we find that we’ve forgotten how. These students have beautiful dreams-maybe it was just the delay in the caffeine reaching my bloodstream but I started to tear up a little bit as I heard them. They want to be forensic scientists and doctors and NBA players and PE teachers and business owners and mountain climbers. It’s beautiful. These are big dreams for these kids. Some of them grew up knowing what it was like to dream but many of them never even dreamed of making it to college. Even now, many of them are going to have to really fight to make it. They have to work hard, be really good at something that they can get a scholarship for and fund-raise their way there. Many of them do make it there. Some stay here.

Since we know that asking them to dare to dream may be a dangerous thing, we help them come up with a plan. Once they spoke their dreams aloud, we said “Great! Now let’s make a plan for when and how you’re going to achieve this goal.” They wrote out three things they would have to do during college to reach their goal. Then three things they would have to do during high school to reach their goal. Then three things to do this year at Doulos to reach their goal. And finally, three things to do this semester to help them work towards their goal. This seemed like such a crucial part to me. Being capable of imagining a dream is half the battle but it does nothing as a coin thrown in the fountain.

Many of us have already achieved the dreams of these students. We are doctors and scientists and business owners and teachers and now what? What’s our next dream? Why did we want to be that in the first place? Is it still our dream? Are we accomplishing what we wanted to do? Can we do it better?

Ahora te pregunto, now I ask you…if neither money nor the expectations of anyone else were a factor, what would you do? 

Teacher Love

I am almost done with week number 2 in the classroom! Time has been flying here, but it has been so great. I really couldn’t ask for a better mentor teacher or better students to learn how to teach with

.

I went to a Christian concert at the school on Saturday night which was so cool and then went to another concert (Christine D’Clario, big Christian artist in the Caribbean) in Santiago on Sunday night after church (a different church that is much more typical of the types of churches that I tend towards). The concert started at 8 and Santiago is like 40 minutes away. It was an incredible night of praise and worship and her testimony really resounded with me. I had such a great time going with some of my new girl friends. Unfortunately, I have to be at school at 6:45 in the morning to start teaching a 7am class while the vast majority of the rest of the school (including the women I was with) don’t have to arrive until 7:45. So, with very little sleep I started school on Monday and had a wonderful day. I thought that I would be so dead the whole day but I found energy that was not my own. The students were so great on Monday and reminded me of why I’m here. It’s a really cliché thing to say, get all of your boo’s and awwww’s out now, but they’re really great and make it worth getting up every day.

I have led smaller parts and helped out with group work before but today was my first day teaching a significant part of a lesson. It went really well! Much better than I expected for my first lesson. I didn’t make some of the biggest mistakes that I usually make and it felt like it went really well. And Brad was incredibly encouraging afterward so that was good to hear. I’m so excited to get to start doing more and more in the classroom! I’m so thankful for the grace that my students have shown me thus far as I learn how to teach and as I’m taking over instructional time that they would otherwise have with their favorite teacher.  :)

Overwhelmed by the Spirit

Since I haven’t written in awhile and what I have to say is long and covers pretty unrelated topics, I am splitting today’s into two. This first one tells a story (at times…er…embellished appropriately) of an experience I had a couple of weeks ago:

Two Sundays ago I decided to go to church with my host mom. We had had a real heart to heart in the morning, I had lost my phone at this point so I couldn’t contact anyone as to where exactly the church I planned on going to was, and it seemed like it could be a great cultural experience. It was.

She warned me ahead of time that it was Pentecostal church and not her normal church. It’s her husband’s church but she’s been having issues at hers so we decided to try it out. She knew that we were in for quite the experience. The service lasted for 13 hours (embellishment-it was probably like 3 hours, which in retrospect is not as long as it could’ve been). We walked in and we were the only women there wearing pants instead of a dress or skirt. Oh the scandal that we must have brought to the church. I felt instant shame. The women were on one side and the men on the other side. If this wasn’t going to be a bonding experience with Minerva I don’t know what would be…

 The church building was the size of a large bedroom or a small classroom. Nonetheless, the members had evidently invested in or stumbled upon three speakers, all roughly the size of a small skyscraper (embellishment). What’s more, they were so incredibly invested in the gospel that they shouted it into this little microphone that carried a great deal of sound through the towering speakers right to the pulse in my eardrum. It made women fall to the ground and weep for Jesus and children fall to the ground screaming and covering their ears (embellishment-the women part, not the children part). I kind of wanted to be a child at this point. It terrified me to, kiddo, me too.

 At the end the preacher called out the newbies to bless them and pray over them. It mattered not that Minerva and I were already Christians. We, too, had to be saved and fully accept the presence of God that we had not accepted previously. A woman put one hand over my my breast and the other on one side of my face as her cheek touched mine and prayed very passionately over my heart. I didn’t speak in tongues or feel any different…besides the discomfort that this white girl felt from the proximity to another unknown person that I was experiencing at the moment. Plus she was talking so darn fast and it was so loud around us and I caught only like three quarters of what she was even saying anyway. The breath of fresh air that I took when we finally made it out of that building was extravagant and the wordless look exchanged between my host mother of two days and me priceless. I have never had a dull experience at a Pentecostal church and I must say that I do really admire the truth that they spoke and the fervor with which they followed the Lord. But I can say that rarely has fresh air felt so sweet. 

New Beginnings

                My first week and a half here has been fabulous. The community at my school, Doulos Discovery School is incredible. As I have often bemoaned, even simple, day-today challenges that people face can be so much more difficult and draining when abroad, and the staff here are so committed to being that support for each other and showing grace to one another in any way possible. I very much miss everyone from home, but I have spent little time feeling lonely because of the strength of the community. Jarabacoa is also a really nice place and quite different from Santiago!! It’s been a bit of an easier transition that I had expected-the town is much calmer, which means that it’s not as easy to get anywhere you want to go but I’m surrounded by beauty and seeing a gringo isn’t such a rarity here so even though I’m still one of the tallest and blondest women here I don’t stick out quite as much (except in my house or when I do stuff with my host family, in which case I get the blessing of being the minority once again-a reminder of the diversity that I come to crave when I’m away for it for too long).

For the first week I stayed with two different couples that are on staff at Doulos and they hosted me with so much grace and I had a wonderful time. I am certainly glad to finally have (mostly) unpacked my suitcase and have a little space of my own now that I’ve arrived at my homestay.  It’s a tiny little house with a lot of people. It’s an adjustment getting used to freezing cold showers again and ants getting in everything but it’s a place filled with a lot of love.

We had our first day of “school” today. For the high schoolers, it was a retreat to the Young Life camp, Pico Escondido. I got to go on that and it was a lot of fun! We played some games, praised Jesus, ate and just spent some good time with the students. It was a little intimidating to just be thrown into such an informal setting the first day with my students, but it was fun and a nice way to ease into the school year for them!

The school is really small-there are about 250 students in Pre-K through 12^th grade so each grade has only one class. I am teaching 10^th-12^th grade Math, which is Geometry, Advanced Algebra and then a split class of Pre-Calculus and a more basic, Algebra-skill-boosting class. The general format for the core classes like Math is that we teach all morning, have lunch from 12:30-1:00 and then have the afternoon to plan. This is really nice for me because having so many preps is going to be a challenge in my student teaching!

My cooperating teacher is so great. I was a little nervous about having a guy at first, I must admit, but he is going to be a really great teacher to learn from. From what I’ve gathered so far from student reactions and what other teachers have said, he is the favorite teacher in high school. He’s a lot of fun and a really laid back guy but still really challenges his students and has high expectations. That’s the kind of teacher I’ve identified myself as and am really excited to learn from him how to balance those things, because it’s a tough role to play! This demeanor is also really going to help me in my student teaching experience and he’s already shown himself an advocate for me, whether in allowing me to try new things that might fail or in defending my time and protecting me from the other desperate teachers who need this document translated or another volunteer for X,Y and Z (it’s a really busy place with a lot of needs and a lot of great places to jump in and help). I know that he wants me to succeed and is very encouraging.

I’m so excited to see what this semester holds. I have already grown so much through this transition, even despite my fear that I wasn’t strong enough for it. I know that it’s going to be a very challenging semester, but I also know that I’m going to grow a lot. I’ve come here to learn and be challenged, but I also think that God brought me here to heal.

I've likely forgotten to mention some details that you may have questions about, so please feel free to ask about anything you would like to know more about!

La Llegada

I have made it safe and sound to Jarabacoa. I got in the airport at about 9:20, got my bags, found my school director and his wife, and got to their house by about 10:45. Today I spent the day in the classroom setting stuff up with my cooperating teacher, meeting other teachers, taking care of some details, etc. So far I am so in love with the community at Doulos and am so excited for my time here! Everyone has been incredibly kind and helpful and inclusive. The campus is gorgeous and I feel like this is a perfect place for me to be at.

My adventures for this trip, however, began a little bit sooner than expected. I committed a bit of an oversight this past week and a half-I hadn’t seen my passport and it never really occurred to me to look for it. It’s always there somewhere. And I had it in my car 3 weeks ago. Monday night I went to go get it from the place in my room that I always keep it and it wasn’t there…or in the 3 or 4 other places it could have possibly been. With a weeks’ worth of nightmares of various things going wrong in my travels swirling around in my head along with all of the mounting anxiety of the last week (or couple months), my stress level climaxed and full-fledged panic ensued. My parents, Matt, my sisters and I all began to tear apart the house, ransacking every nook and cranny. No luck. It was nowhere to be found. I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes in my time, but this topped them all and I had no idea where to go next. Do I keep looking? Do I look into getting another one?

I called an automated appointment system to try and set up an appointment ASAP in either Chicago or Detroit to get a new passport same day. The earliest dates were the 12^th and the 13^th at those offices. I was supposed to leave the 7^th. We continued searching places we had already checked 3 times over. My dad, the voice of reason, finally decided that we should just call and talk to someone in the Chicago office first thing in the morning.

So I got up the next morning, reported my passport as lost (which was scary because then even if I found it after that, I wouldn’t ever be able to use it) and then got transferred to an appointment specialist. She took my information and told me that she would send in a request to the Chicago office. At first she made it sound like there was no chance I would be getting in today yet, but then I asked how soon I would be able to know when I could get an appointment because I would need to change my flight accordingly and she said that hopefully they would call that day to let me know. I thanked her and hung up, still really unsure of what to do. I called my school director’s house to let him know what was going on and decided to just take a shower and then keep packing and getting everything ready to get a new passport so I could go right when they called me. I didn’t have to wait long. 1 minute out of the shower my dad called me over because he was talking to the airline to ask about the costs of changing my flight ($200 at least for each change) and my phone rang. It was the Chicago passport office calling me to let me know that if I could make it there by noon-12:30-at-the-very-latest then I could get my passport today. It was currently 9:15 and I was in a towel without any of the things gathered that I needed. I quickly changed and ran to Walgreen’s to get a passport picture as my dad sent forms to my mom to print out an drive home (our printer isn’t working well) and gathered the things I needed like my birth certificate. We got everything together and were off by 10 (thankfully Chicago is an hour behind). Nonetheless, we had very little wiggle room for traffic delays (which have happened every single time I’ve travelled to and from Bloomington-Normal this summer).

I never would have dreamed that I would lose my passport. Who does that? Apparently a lot of people. There was quite a line when we arrived to the office at 12 on the dot. As I waited in line I heard a few people say that they were trying to get passports to leave the country that same afternoon. I waited in line for 45 minutes, then got a number to put in my request. I waited about 10 more minutes, then got my request in and she said that hopefully they would get it in today yet. My dad and I, a little shell-shocked with our newfound relief of pressure kind of wandered around for a bit and then decided to go get lunch at a German café he had heard about. We wandered to the outside of Millennium Park after that, and then decided to head back to see if my passport was done.

With 30 minutes until the building closed, I was handed my new passport!

God is good. As are my parents and Matt, without whom I definitely would not have gotten on that plane in time.

When I finally made it back home, I ate dinner quickly and then began packing with Matt’s help. Or maybe he was packing with my help (he’s much more efficient with space). We got done at about 1:00am with everything. Then woke up at 3:30am to get ready and head off to catch my plane from Grand Rapids. I was travelling all day, with an 8 hour layover in Miami and snuck in a few short naps throughout.  I also ended up sitting next to and meeting a guy who works for a church just down the street from Doulos, so he helped me with a lot of traveling things and told me more about the city. It was wonderful to have the company on the trip, especially in the state that I was in!

Our flight to Santiago was delayed for about 40 minutes so I got in late but unbelievably, I made it despite all of the big obstacles! Life is crazy and miracles do still happen. And as my dad reminded me on our drive home, you never know what the day may bring (and don’t beat yourself up if you lose your passport because there are a ton of lost passports out there…).

The whole passport ordeal really made me question my self-proclamation as an adventure-lover. This was one adventure I could do without, I thought. It also really made me question why someone like me should be allowed to travel independently to another country in a kind of remote place. I had serious doubts about myself. And I was hoping for a clear reason as to why I lost my passport so that it wouldn't just be because I am scattered :) But nothing dramatic happened: I didn’t have to change my flight only to realize that a plane I was supposed to be on crashed, I didn’t meet any life-changing people because of it and I’m still out $200. But it did remind me that I need to trust God. He carried me through the whole process by using my amazingly supportive family and boyfriend and a very kind stranger. He took care of me and made possible the unbelievable. I’m still scared for all that this semester will hold and what I should do after it, but I know that He will carry me through and that everything will be alright. I just need a little more faith and trust sometimes. 

Transitions

Well folks, over a year has passed and here I go again into the world of motoconchos, fried everything, tiny coffee mugs, Spanish, dancing, Caribbean heat and the most adorable children you ever did see. But this time I’m going to play the teacher instead of the student.

I was basically fearless going into my first long-term adventure into this beautiful country. I had much more to lose than I realized, but I just felt like I was ready to get out of this place and go somewhere new, breathe some Caribbean air, experience a new culture, embody a new culture. I was ambitious, yes, and took much for granted. My life was not in a great state at this point. I didn’t think I had much to lose, and thought that it would only make me stronger. Well, it definitely did, but maybe not in the way that I had planned. God had a different plan, as he sometimes does.

As I continue to prepare myself for my departure,  even while my heart and mind (and body) are here in Bloomington-Normal with my research group and the lovely little life I have made for myself here this summer, I cannot help but to feel pretty apprehensive. I’m already wondering what came over me when I decided to do this. I am fully assured that it was written in God’s plan for me, and that’s why he made the application deadline when He did, because if I would have known how it would feel now, I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to follow through with it. I love this country with all of my heart, but all of my heart also stays home, with family and friends and the love of my life. I also know what I’m getting into this time around a little bit better. I am so excited for all of the beautiful parts of this country and can’t wait feel home again in the part of my heart that remains there. But I also know the demons that plague in the loneliness and stress that comes with being in a new place away from what I’ve known my whole life. And I’m not too proud to admit this time around that I am certainly not strong enough to face them alone. But I have been redeemed enough to know that God is strong in my weakness and that encouragement is available for the weary and downtrodden who seek it.

So it is with great excitement, trembling and humility that I begin this journey, and I humbly ask for your prayers as I go on this journey. The director of the school in which I will be teaching (Doulos Discovery School) urges me to regard myself as a missionary in this experience. It is a missions’ school that I will be teaching at, and all teachers at the school raise their own full support. Again, had I know then that I was committing myself to such a position, I know I would not have had the strength or courage to accept the call of missions. I do not feel prepared to be in that position, but I once again trust fully that God knew exactly what He was doing and my prayer is that He uses me as He sees fit in my time at Doulos.

I humbly request your continued prayers as I embark on this journey, that God protects me from harm and temptation, from the demons that persist, from the doubt that invades, the depression that paralyzes, and the fall to which we are all inclined, and that in the times in which these things prevail that I may persist in the faith and the hope that God provides, that I may pass through those times and God may continue to use me to further His kingdom. I am already overwhelmed and encouraged by the outpouring of love and support that has been shown me by my faith community and feel so blessed to be a part of it. I can’t wait to see where this new adventure takes me.