Well folks, over a year has passed and here I go again into
the world of motoconchos, fried everything, tiny coffee mugs, Spanish, dancing,
Caribbean heat and the most adorable children you ever did see. But this time
I’m going to play the teacher instead of the student.
I was basically fearless going into my first long-term
adventure into this beautiful country. I had much more to lose than I realized,
but I just felt like I was ready to get out of this place and go somewhere new,
breathe some Caribbean air, experience a new culture, embody a new culture. I
was ambitious, yes, and took much for granted. My life was not in a great state
at this point. I didn’t think I had much to lose, and thought that it would
only make me stronger. Well, it definitely did, but maybe not in the way that I
had planned. God had a different plan, as he sometimes does.
As I continue to prepare myself for my departure, even while my heart and mind (and body) are
here in Bloomington-Normal with my research group and the lovely little life I
have made for myself here this summer, I cannot help but to feel pretty
apprehensive. I’m already wondering what came over me when I decided to do
this. I am fully assured that it was written in God’s plan for me, and that’s
why he made the application deadline when He did, because if I would have known
how it would feel now, I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to follow
through with it. I love this country with all of my heart, but all of my heart
also stays home, with family and friends and the love of my life. I also know
what I’m getting into this time around a little bit better. I am so excited for
all of the beautiful parts of this country and can’t wait feel home again in
the part of my heart that remains there. But I also know the demons that plague
in the loneliness and stress that comes with being in a new place away from
what I’ve known my whole life. And I’m not too proud to admit this time around
that I am certainly not strong enough to face them alone. But I have been
redeemed enough to know that God is strong in my weakness and that
encouragement is available for the weary and downtrodden who seek it.
So it is with great excitement, trembling and humility that
I begin this journey, and I humbly ask for your prayers as I go on this
journey. The director of the school in which I will be teaching (Doulos
Discovery School) urges me to regard myself as a missionary in this experience.
It is a missions’ school that I will be teaching at, and all teachers at the
school raise their own full support. Again, had I know then that I was committing
myself to such a position, I know I would not have had the strength or courage
to accept the call of missions. I do not feel prepared to be in that position,
but I once again trust fully that God knew exactly what He was doing and my
prayer is that He uses me as He sees fit in my time at Doulos.
I humbly request your continued prayers as I embark on this
journey, that God protects me from harm and temptation, from the demons that
persist, from the doubt that invades, the depression that paralyzes, and the
fall to which we are all inclined, and that in the times in which these things
prevail that I may persist in the faith and the hope that God provides, that I
may pass through those times and God may continue to use me to further His
kingdom. I am already overwhelmed and encouraged by the outpouring of love and
support that has been shown me by my faith community and feel so blessed to be
a part of it. I can’t wait to see where this new adventure takes me.
