One of the things I have already come to love about the Dominican people is their directness. They call it like they see it. If someone asks you how you're doing, they actually want to know. If you make a less-than-stellar life choice, somebody at your church is going to tell you that that's not what Christians do, and if you're lukewarm in your faith you will be labeled an unbeliever. On a more entertaining level, if you didn't put on make-up for the day, you will be asked if you had a rough morning. If you're overweight, your nickname will be fatty, or if you're lazy, that's what you will be called. I will probably be referred to as rubia, or blondie. These labels have some pros and cons, but it got me thinking about how I will be identified by the people there.
As I was packing today, I became acutely aware of precisely how much of my identity is wrapped up in my clothing. I've never in my life been very attached to many things-even as a little girl I didn't have a blankie or pacifier that I needed. But yet today my mom found me frustrated and annoyed, cross-legged on the floor with three sweatshirts laid out in front of me, and in a heated debate with myself over which one to leave behind. Which sweatshirt. It's like 80 degrees there every day in the cold season. The same scenario occurred with nearly every possible article of clothing, right down to which socks I wanted to take. It was a rough day. The point is, the reason it was such a struggle is that, to a certain extent, I tie specific staples of my wardrobe to my identity and fortunately (yes, I meant to say fortunately), I don't have room to bring all of those. This semester, God has been teaching me how to place my identity in Him and Him alone. There are so many things that I have let define me, and I measured my value by how well I performed in all of those roles and thought that everyone else would do the same. I think that's a struggle that most people face. But all Jesus wants from us is that we fall more and more in love with Him everyday. And the more I do that the less I want anything of the world to define me. I think I forget that sometimes when life gets tough and I get weary. But this is my renewed prayer as I process all of the emotions I've felt over the last couple of weeks and make my final preparations to leave. I hope to learn, in humility, from the Dominican people as I learn how to love more deeply and widely, how to feel again, and how to trust God enough to let Him penetrate all areas of my heart so that my whole life reflects my love for Him, so that He's the only thing I cling to as my identity.
